Today I turned on my Kindle and decided to look for a few
new books to add to my 'To Be Read' list. I'm a sucker for a good love story,
but I'd prefer my story to have a plot alongside it as well. I typed in 'YA
Romance' into my search bar and it automatically suggested that I add 'with
sex'. This really, really irked me. It irked me that so many people have
searched for young adult novels that have sex in them that it would
automatically assume that I wanted it in the stories I read as well. I don't.
Now, let me make myself clear, I am not bashing on books
that have explicit scenes it them, but I don't think that authors should add
them into every single book they write. I am so, so, so sick of books that are
just porn without plot. There are a lot of books with nothing but verbally
abusive boyfriends wanting to have sex with the main character...in every
chapter! Seriously, enough is enough!
Teen pregnancy is a serious issue in America now. I
graduated with four teen moms. All of them were younger than I was. My friend
got his fifteen year old girlfriend pregnant the year we were graduating. She
now has two children by two different guys, and she's not even eighteen yet.
Teenagers are beginning to think it's okay to go around and have sex as much as
they want, and we are constantly promoting that to our audiences.
I'm twenty-one years old. I'm not some mother or grandmother
who thinks the media is poisoning my child/grandchild's brain. I'm a little
sister and a big sister. My little sister is sixteen years old, and I
constantly worry about her getting pregnant or catching an STD. I don't know if
she's having sex with the guys she's dating. I don't live with her or monitor
her. What I do know is that movies, books, and songs promote sex like it's some
shiny thing that everyone should be doing all the freaking time. My sister
listens to music, she watches movies, and she will occasionally crack open a
book. My little sister is being exposed to it every day of her life. Your
brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, and friends are being exposed to it every
day.
Do my characters have sex? Yes, I do have a FADE TO BLACK
scene in my book Behind the Wooden Door, but if you want to pretend they didn't
have sex, go right ahead. You can do that, and it will not hurt my feelings at
all. In Mutilate My Heart, I have a scene where my main characters get a little
too close, but they don't do anything. They pull back and are like 'OMG I'm an
idiot.' That is very paraphrased, but you get the point. I don't have explicit scenes
in my books because I want parents to feel comfortable handing my books to
their children/grandchildren. I don't want any teenagers getting it in their
head that it's totally cool to go sleep with a guy they just met because they
read it in one of my books.
I have heard authors say things like 'the only way any of
our books are going to sell is if we add a lot of sex to them.' Uhm... I'd
rather not sell books than to have to make my books filled with raunchy,
explicit scenes. I don’t 'talk dirty' to my boyfriends because that is the most
awkward thing in the world to me... and slightly disgusting.
Authors, let's stop promoting that it's totally okay to
sleep with a guy you barely know and that sex is the way to make a guy love
you/stay with you. If a guy (or girl) only wants you for sex, you're better off
without them. Promote love that doesn’t have
to rely on a physical relationship to keep it afloat.
<3
I totally agree with what you're saying. I am the mother of a teenage daughter. Not to preach but I have had this discussion with my daughter. Sex does NOT equal love. That's a real life fact. As a writer, it's my goal to have my characters form deep, meaningful relationships. I personally like stories that have romantic elements that bring the couple together. For me, reading page after page of sex scenes is tiresome especially when I feel like the characters are only together because of their physical attraction for each other.
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